We Ate All The Pies - Updated

$13.00

Please Choose Your Correct Size

We have introduced a handling fee of £5 for returns, which will be deducted from your refund. All our shirts are printed to order, so it means we have a lot of wasted stock when we make a size exchange, or if someone orders two sizes in order to return one.
So please choose your correct size.

How Football Swallowed Britain Whole

The 2018 edition now features a new 8,000 word introduction

Football is weird. Damn weird. Why do we love it so intensely? Why are millions of us utterly obsessed by it? Is it a kind of drug or some sort of hypnosis? It can’t just be the 22 preening millionaires running around on a rectangle of grass that keeps us all hooked. Have you watched football? A lot of it is so boring it can make your eyes melt.

In We Ate All the Pies, John Nicholson, gonzo sports writer and long-running, legendary columnist for www.football365.com asks a question which few, if anyone has asked before; just why is football so damn popular?

Football is Britain s big love. It has consumed the nation totally. Drawing on his life as a devoted football obsessive and lifelong Middlesbrough fan, John delves into the culture that surrounds the game to discover how and why it has got under the skin of the British public like no other sport. He explores the history of the football shirt in style and design; how and why sponsorship became the norm; the culture of food inside the ground, around the stadium and in the pubs and clubs and how the modern trend of fine dining changed the match day experience (explaining why prawn sandwiches are the perfect expression of the class-politics of football in Britain).

From the crucial role booze and food takes, to the importance of shirts and merchandise, John also considers how football helps define who we are, who we think we are, how we behave, how it affects our relationships in life and how the game is used by people to vent their everyday frustrations and emotions.

Along the way, he also recounts the history of football on TV and how it changed perceptions of teams and countries (in particular, the 1970 World Cup TV revolution) and just what part the game takes in the intricate complexities of national identity, not least of being a Teessider, Northern and English, in that order!
This is a unique, funny, warm and thought provoking excursion into our football lives, told in John’s trademark off-beat, powerful and irreverent style.

Amazon Kindle >

SHIRT SIZE CHEST SIZE (INCHES) LENGTH (INCHES) CHEST SIZE (CM) LENGTH (CM)
Small 34-36 27 86-92 68
Medium 38-40 28 96-102 71
Large 42-44 29 106-112 73
XL 44-48 31 112-122 78
2XL 50-52 32 127-132 81
3XL 54-56 33 137-142 83
4XL 58-60 34 147-152 86
5XL 62-64 35 157-162 89


Returns & Exchanges

If you need to change size or colour or design, or just fancy a refund, it’s all cool. I can sort all of this out for you. 

But, as of 8th Jan 2024 we have had to introduce a handling fee of £5 for returns, which will be deducted from your refund.
All our shirts are printed to order, so it means we have a lot of wasted stock when we make a size exchange, or if someone orders two sizes in order to return one.
Please note, you will also need to pay your own return shipping. 

So before ordering - please measure your size and choose correctly -  see size chart 

When returning an item it must arrive with us in it’s original condition. Wearing it down the pub on a Friday night out, getting it covered in Guinness and setting light to it via a badly rolled reefer, then returning it on Monday, is understandable, but not allowed by the karma pixies who govern our lives. And we don't want to upset the karma pixies now, do we? 

If your item is in any way faulty then please contact me immediately, send a photo of the issue and I will get a replacement organised. For clarity, the concept of faulty does not include stains from a lamb dhansak you have spilled down yourself after consuming 8 pints of lager.  For faulty items there will be no return fee.

Before making a return, please email me boss@djtees.com with your order number, and what you want to happen - a refund, or a different size/colour/design. I can then make it happen because I am all powerful, can change my clothes in a phone box and can fire spider webs from places I didn't know I even had. Possibly.

You will always be dealing with me, Johnny, because DJTees is so small and niche that I do all admin. Don't worry, I don't bite, or at least not unless you are a sausage. I do bite sausages.

If you'd love a t-shirt but are totally skint, drop me a line and I'll see what I can do. 

SHIPPING 

We print everything to order and don't hold any stock of anything. That would be mad. Almost all orders are printed within 2 or 3 working days (this doesn't include weekends and public holidays), occasionally as long as 4 days if we have run out of a size or colour t-shirt and stock is delayed in arriving.  

 See shipping details here >

 EU CUSTOMERS PLEASE NOTE: EU-based customers might have to pay local rate VAT on their order before delivery.

Please do not order unless you are prepared to pay the VAT


 

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